I am not the greatest Dr. Phil Fan but sometimes he does have good advice and he actually makes sense( for a man). I always remember his catch phrase..."do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?" Sometimes people get so caught up in their anger and their drive to be right, that everything else falls to the wasteside and it brings them incredible stress and heartache. I mean I do understand one's tendencey to want revenge and hang on to the anger to pay back the one's that hurt you or did you wrong. I have had thoughts of revenge and I am sure there isn't a person around who wanted to get back at someone for something that they did to you. You want the person who hurt you hurt as much as you did, but the question is what do you gain from this? Is it worth the aggrevation and stress that making a point and being right will bring? Sometimes one has to stop and think if getting revenge is really going to make you feel better. And what does that say about you as a person? Are you out to hurt people or are you righting yourself? I understand that some things are hard to forgive and to get over and I would be the last person to tell anybody to get over something, but if it affects your health, your rational thinking, and occupies every second of your days, then there are bigger issues at work than just being unhappy with an outcome of a situation and they need to be addressed one way or another. Being revengeful and spiteful can turn one into a very "ugly" person, one that no one wants to be around because of all the negativity. One might end up hurting oneself more than the hurt inflicted on the intended target and this will definitely stun one's chance of personal growth.
Life is too short to waste a lot of time on negative feelings towards other people, and mostly the other person is not even fully aware of the pain inflicted onto you. No one asks you to get over it and forget, but you can't let it consume your life, the other person might never feel any remorse and anguish about a certain painful situation, and you are the one hanging on to it and it will get you nowhere fast.