Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Who knows you?

This is inspired by a blog of a friend who recently questioned the people who claim to love her and how much they really know her or not know her and all the things that go with it. I know I have blogged about this plenty of times myself, but it seems to be a question that pops up every once in a while.
People only know of you what you want them to know about you. I am sure we all have our "little secrets", things we aren't proud of, feelings we have that we think are not "normal" or up to standard of the people in your circle of friends or family. I know I have a lot of things that I think " omg if my friends only knew", it doesn't have to be anything bad or significant, but it makes me think of being "less" or inadequate" or "not worthy" if somebody would ever find out. But then who cares who finds out your 'self imposed" character flaws? Nobody is perfect... it's just how you see yourself and might not reflect what others think about you or feel for you, it's just your own shit you carry around, that hasn't been dealt with and which seems to come up ever so often, want it or not, it's just there and maybe until it's all out and you laid everything out on the table, it still will be there today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. But who really reveals every thing about themselves to others? And why would others be privileged to that information? Maybe your not the right person to tell it to or it never comes up in a conversation? Shall I just blurt it out? No context, just for it to be out there? Your good and your bad.I don't think that's how it works.
I know I have my good, my bad and my ugly things. So how well do you really know me? Have I told you everything? Do you know what makes me cry ever so often? Do you know what makes me think of killing myself ever so often? But then do you know that I fear death itself? Do you know what keeps me from doing it? Do you know what makes me laugh?Do you know my weaknesses? And if you do what would you do with that information? Do you know what is my biggest fear? I don't think so.I think we reveal only as much as we feel safe to reveal.
Yes my favourite colour is blue, I love music and I love animals... but what really goes on inside me? You don't know...sometimes I don't even know.
So people only know about you the information you feed them, nothing more and nothing less. I don't think you ever really know anybody, no matter how good you think you know them.

Last point just absolutely proven just now by some news about someone and what everybody thought they were and nobody had a clue who they really were. "Prick" is the right word for that one my friend. So much for being a nice guy.


Anonymous said...

Well whatever I know or don't know about my P.I.C, I still love her unconditionally. The good, the bad and even the ugly :-)


Anonymous said...

Awwwwwww, thanks.