I feel an issue creeping up

Alert! Issue creeping up..... oh how I hate this one lol. This has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.... I think I have everything under control and out of the blue some old just too familiar feelings come creeping up on me. Darn, didn't want that one back for sure and I know it was wrong as I am doing it, and I know it wasn't how it seemed and I know that if circumstances would have been different, things would have turned out different. I know it's nobody intentional doing, I know if they could they would, I know all that and still I couldn't stop it and still I couldn't react any different than I have in the past. The funny thing is I don't even know where this issue stems from, I have a few little thoughts on it, but no real conncetion to it. Well I will take a closer look at that one and trust my heart a little bit more in this case and the person towards this was directed at at that moment. I just have too, no matter how scary it is, there is no other way through it. I just hate getting like that.