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Monday, January 30, 2006

Food stuffing feelings

Unless it was the usually mealtime, like breakfast, lunch and dinner, I kept track of every thing I ate and what I was feeling at the time I was putting it in my mouth. Didn't stop me from eating it, but I was well aware that it was more a feeling to be stuffed than actual hunger. It's amazing to really see why I put these goodies( well I don't think I ever over-ate on carrot sticks or celery) in my mouth and how it doesn't really eliminate the feeling but it eases it tremendously at that moment. I do eat when I am anxious to calm me down, I definately eat when I am disappointed in something or someone, I eat when I am bored, that's a biggy too, I eat when I get frustrated with situations and people and things,I eat when I am lonely, I also eat as a reward and tension release(if I managed a stressful situation quite successfully), basicly I eat to stuff most of my feelings, well except happiness, than I am too wired to eat. I can't say that I don't eat when I am happy; because it will only last a few weeks not to eat while being happy then the old things catch up with me and it's not about eating in the end anyway. I learnt that much by now.

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