"Dogs have so many friends, because they wag their tails, not their tongues".
There are friends and then there are friends, the ones you share everything with, your pain, your joy, your silence, your talks, your life basically. Those kind of friends are hard to come by. I can say I had a few friends who in the end turned out to be anything else but friends, and yet somehow I was drawn to them and for whatever reason I gave them more credit than they really deserved, drawn to them because I am by nature actually very trusting, just with time I learned my lessons and saw people for who they really are, doesn't mean I don't want them as friends anymore, just means I will be more cautious around them and not so freely give out personal information. But most people realize that they really don't gain anything from passing on private entrusted information, other than making themselves important and then they try anything to get themselves out of the holes they find themselves in. But what is done is done and the trust is destroyed. A friend to me is someone who sits with you just to be quite, just to know that you have someone there that cares. I know I have pushed people away and avoided, but the real friends still try to come around, even though I make it hard for them, and then others just give up on you, and then one wonders if they were ever really there to begin with or if you just fulfilled a certain purpose in their life for the time being. Who really knows. I just always thought that real friends don't judge, don't belittle, don't give up on each other, don't make one feel guilty about one's feelings and problems, just always thought a real friend would be always beside me, no matter what. I know if they were in need I would be there for them, if it is just to listen and lend a shoulder to cry on or just be their sounding board for venting. I guess one has to cry to the right people in ones life to get heard and accepted for whatever it is.
Thank you to all my friends who have stood beside me and held me up when I was ready to fall, over the last few weeks and months. Thank you.