Thursday, October 13, 2005

Day 10: Integration

All the things I learned, I am pretty good at getting them intellectual, but sometimes I find it hard to put them into action and also get them from my heart. At times I have a real disconnection from my heart to my head and things make sense at the same time they don't make sense on a different level. I struggle with that everyday, but I keep on practicing, which is easier, when I am having a good day. Like everything in life, nothing comes from nothing, and practice makes perfect, even practicing being good to myself.
Every day I try to integrate the things I learn from books, from other people, etc and I take from them what works for me, not everything works for everybody. The only person I can work on and influence is myself, not anybody else. JUST ME!
I am getting better too with accepting compliments without playing them down in my head, instead I just accept them as they are. Recently one of my closest friend gave me a very very big and very much appreciated compliment, she said that I have come so far from about 2 years ago. Hearing that meant a lot, since sometimes I don't really see my progress, or maybe I don't want to accept my progress, because that would be admitting that I was "broken" at one point of time, and I don't think anybody wants to think of themselves as not whole, it's almost a shameful thing to admit. Sometimes I am so messed up in my thinking, but I am so aware of it, and that makes it so hard to live with. Sometimes I admire those who live in their little world and don't really get anything that goes on around them, things go right over their heads, it's like you have to hit them over the head to wake them up. But on the other side, I think that makes you a very poor person, poor on seeing your own value and the person you are meant to be. I think we all can use some improvement one way or the other, nobody is perfect, and certain things are just human nature, even though you know they aren't always the right thing to do.
Well I try everyday to improve my self, mostly for myself and for the better enjoyment of my life. Like my partner in crime said, "Live life like you are dying", make every day count. That's what I am trying to do, some days are easier then others. But that's ok too.

1 comment:

'Thought & Humor' said...

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinate goodness,
wisdom and power.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Howdy

'Thought & Humor'

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."