I can't remember where, but somewhere I read this little phrase " I don't like you, therefore I need to get to know you better."
Life experiences make you the person you are, unconsciously or consciously.
There are always people who.....
*look all together on the outside
*are mean and nasty
*talk too much
*don't talk enough
*are self sabotaging
The list could go on and on...
Everybody is the way they are because of their experiences, it's not nice to judge a book by it's cover, because you never know what their story is, and yes everybody has a story.
A long time ago, I was watching a show, where they picked random people out of the audience, normal looking people, put well together, by the look of them , you could think their life must be fine or perfect, well that's the first impression you would get, but each on of them had a story to tell. Things you would have never guess could have happened to them. So you never know, what goes on in someone's life and why the act or are the way the are, until you get their story.
And yes, in the end it's everybody's responsibility to themselves to make their life the way they want it to be, but it's a choice for each of us to make for ourselves. I can't judge anybody for not making this choice or making it. Each their own. Listening to other's story and trying to understand where they come from shows compassion and interest in others. And we all can learn from each other.