Tuesday, June 07, 2011

TOL or thinking out loud!

*Ok, I am grown woman, I am not an idiot, I am  totally capable of standing up for myself and say the things I think are important to say and voice my opinion when I think I need to, just because you don't understand that sometimes I really don't think things are that important to get all bent out of shape over, doesn't mean that you have the right to speak for me and put words in my mouth, definitely not when I am not present and most definitely not when I am in the same room, hello, I know how to speak, I am not a little child, if things bother me I will say so, might not be right that minute, or a week later, but if it gets too much I will, so mind your own business until I am ready to deal with it,  the way I see fit to deal with it. Just because I am reserved, quiet and take a lot, doesn't give you the right to try to make things right for me,   especially when I know that your agenda is not to help me but to help yourself and hurt others.  So butt out. I can fight my own battles, again when I have too and at no other time. Your medaling puts me in situations I don't want and need to be in  and I am left with trying to get myself back out without too much damage to myself. I told you before to not put your hands in things that don't concern you. ( Ok now I feel better on to the next thing....arrrggghhhh!)
*Again I am trying hard to be true to the words from my dear friend Joan "that not everybody is like you and you can't expect it either", but it really starting to piss me off when you ask people for help, or they offer their help and then abandon ship in the last minute. Unlike being that way, I still have to uphold my end of the bargain, because I won't do to others, what you just did to me, so here I am struggling again and having to do something I have no business doing because I am not equipped to do it, but since I have made a promise to somebody I will have to be very inventive and suck it up and pull up my big girl panties, and do it somehow, have no clue how, nor do I have the time to do it but I guess I will have to, otherwise I will be just like you and let others down, and well, that's not me. But it is really tiring having to fix things that others screw up. And then some wonder why I shut the world out at times to recuperate and gather strength to get  back into this world.  I know I can't fix everything, but as long as my name is attached to it I will do all I can to make it turn out the way it was meant to, even though it will cause a lot of tears and blood on my part, but it will be done. 

But on the other hand there are people who do have integrity and stick to what they say and I am grateful for them, like somebody jumping of her sinking ship but doing one more act before that, that will help me, I am appreciative of that. Having said that there is one person who can screw that up and it would be really nice if that person just once could do something for others instead of just always taking and looking out for themselves. But again....not like me lol....(sorry Joan). 
And then there are the people that know every little thing of you, good, bad and indifferent, and they don't care, they don't judge you, they don't tell you what you should do or shouldn't do, they are just there no matter what, and those people I appreciate and love more than anything else. And I am so blessed to have them in my life.
There is a big difference in guiding someone and telling someone what to do, and really it's all in how you do it, what words you use and what your intentions are and if you do it from a loving place. Apropos taking about those kind of people, my friend has made it through the surgery and now it's just waiting for test results and she will be home by the end of the week, I can't wait to spend some time with her. Now she is definitely an Angel on Earth, in so many different ways and definitely one of my soft places to fall on. 


Joan said...

So glad to hear she's doing okay, hope the test results are good.. more waiting.

Hate that you've had so many ups and downs with people in your life. Sounds as though you've let them know their place... good for you. Good luck with whatever it is that you've been left to handle. Hate people letting me down.. just like you.

Cathy said...

My goodness Tina - who and what have you become involved in. You certainly have your 'knickers in a knot' over it. Take time to slow down, relax, and then tackle this problem - whatever it is lol
Good to hear about your friend - she needs time with you as well as you needing time with her
Take care

Sharon said...

I hope your friend will be fine and it's good that she will be coming home soon.

I don't know who you were telling off, but I hope they were paying attention!