Today is my chance to grow, to grow out of something that has plagued me all my life, something that is totally out of my comfort zone, that it will be a miracle if I survive unharmed...ok it will not be a life and death situation, but it is one of those things, that feels like it, especially to me. I can't express how nervous and anxious and how horrified I am of this right this minute. Funny thing is that everybody always assumes that I am a natural at this, that I am so good at this.., I don't know how they always get that particular impression of me, when they don't really have a clue about what is going on in my inside and what personal hell I am going through to somewhat "fake" what they think is so natural for me. Go figures.... And it's not something I can fake, nor do I fake, but still they have the wrong impression, maybe they have the right one, but I just don't know it...well we will see today how it goes, and if I will have a breakdown before or make it through it ok. Maybe I will try an English teacher's approach, that impressed the hell out of me when she did it, I am not really sure yet how I will handle this today...but I guess I will play it by ear and my internal feelings....deep breath.
Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day, saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher