Monday, February 02, 2009

Trying to get back on track

Well somehow my mindset has been a little bit out of whack again for the last couple of weeks, not sure what happened, well I have a few ideas, but one never knows if those are the real reasons why things go the way they go, things one just has to accept as facts and that's how it is, and then find new reasons or motivations to get back on track, disregard the old ones and form new intentions. Realizing that some things will be lost forever is hard to do and it kind of questions one's own existence and being at times. I definitely know that my mindset is distorted right now, by the simple fact that I have an all or nothing mentality right now regarding certain issues...e.g. if these test results are anything else than what they should be, then what would be the purpose of the things I am doing right now, all the hard work I have accomplished and all the things I have finally accepted will be right out the window and make no difference and be nil and void in my mind. I already had one setback regarding health, one which is hard to deal with right now because I got my hopes up, but I have to accept it  as what it is and will be. 
I have to get back in my mind, re-align what I want to accomplish and why and just not let the minor or major derailments throw me of course...right now that is however easier said then done.....maybe I have to find new reasons.......?????

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