Sunday, February 01, 2009

A draining couple of weeks

The last few weeks have been really emotionally and physically draining on me, starting with a cold that has literally knocked the wind out my sails, to emotional pain, physical pain, waiting for test results, trying to resolve some big issue with a friend, tension at work, uncertainty about the job, personal growth issues that are just getting rehashed again, tension at home, private matters, and the list just goes on and on...and it's really hard to deal with any of this when one is running on empty, with nothing to fill one up...I mean I do my best to refill as much as I can with what I have left, but somehow it just seems to drain faster than the refill come in or I can make the refills come in....for whatever reason....and then the assumptions and judgements of others that my life should be oh so great, well just because I don't whine and complain that much outwards publicly, doesn't mean I couldn't if I wanted to. And well some have gotten lately the brunt of my dismay, some might have deserved it while others just were there to I said Nice Girl no more....but honestly I am not sure if I like it that way.....well only time will tell.
There have been some bright spots that get me through the days, like the people from work, my P.I.C. , certain individuals of groups and some of the kids at work ( Mr. Cuddles, Mr. Big Brown eyes and devilish smile and Mr. Mom),  who always manage to bring a smile to my face no matter what, the odd friends who call, even though they have enough on their own plate, and of course myself, who has stuck with things no matter how bad I feel or how tired I am. Woo hoo I can be a bright spot if I want too lol....yeahhhhhhhhhh! Well actually I am the only bright spot I have when it comes down to it, and when that is not very bright, well then pretty much all is ******. 

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