PEOPLE WHO ARE VIOLENT TO ANIMALS RARELY STOP THERE!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Comedy

For me COMEDY in a foreign language is one of the hardest thing to understand, I find it very language specific and it's hard to get the points if you not a master of that language. When I first came here, I knew how to speak English and I did understand English, but watching the Sitcoms with my family, was the most boring thing to do. Okay I must admit some sitcoms are not that funny to begin with, but there are a few good ones, but I could never ever understand what people were laughing about, because to me it just didn't make sense, I just didn't get any of the punch lines or word plays. Now I love COMEDY, I listen to comedy at least ones a day and I can listen to the same ones over and over and laugh out loud each time. It's just funny. Now recently I had company from back home and my cousin brought me about 30 CDs of German Comedy. I love it, but I find myself wanting to tell my friends some of the jokes or stories with punch lines, and no matter how I do it, it just doesn't have the same effect, doesn't matter if I try to translate it word by word or if I translate it just sense wise, it just isn't that funny. But I must also admit, I am not very good, well actually I suck, at telling jokes.
A few weeks ago I went to Toronto to see Harland Williams on the Just for laughs tour, he was amazing.

The week before that I took my very best friend to the English comedy" No sex please, we are British". We both didn't know much about the play, just that is was a comedy, and I must say it was quite good, and I definitely enjoyed it.
I hope I get a chance to go and see some more comdians soon.

THE STUPID SIGN ( Bill Engvall)

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning...okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today?

The next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think that we would run out of signs