Monday, February 13, 2012

Taking inventory Part 2

Ha ha ha...thank God I have a good sense of humour and also have no trouble laughing at myself...last Monday I wrote a blog entry about taking inventory, but as my mind has been the way it has been the last little while taking inventory was really nowhere to be found in that entry. So I will try to reflect on it this time around or so I hope...the longer I sit and think about things the more I come to realize how much it has affected so many things in my life, not just at work, but also at my other job, my personal life on every level and me as a person. The person that walked into that office in the beginning of June is a totally different person that sits here at the computer today.
Here are a few things I have to fix now and make somewhat normal again...
* my concentration for one, right now I have a hard time on concentrating on anything longer than five minutes, which results in being more of a procrastinator than I already can be.
* dealing with the increase of certain behaviours, what once were more just being anal about it or a little bit OCD, are now probably 10 times more heightened.
* my anxiety level has been through the roof, but thank God it has been getting slowly better each day.
* my sleeping is totally off, frankly I hardly sleep more than five hours a night.
* my confidence level, well let's not talk about it right now...but it is definitely getting better day by day, especially after completing a project the other day, that I had no clue how to even begin. :)
* frustration levels are high, because of certain feelings I am having regarding productivity, contribution etc.
* my social life has also suffered, as I had totally withdrawn from things that once meant so much to me,   besides a few outings with my donkey loving girls, there was next to no socializing. But I have made  slow progress regarding that by signing up for new things, coming out to meeting again etc, but it's  hard to get into.
* major headaches
* and my biggest obstacle right now is to deal with the weight gain over the last eight month, even though my eating patterns have drastically changed over the last two weeks, to almost the total opposite, it hasn't shown on the scale.

Like always time will be the healer of all those things, some I don't have that much time for to rectify them, so I feel a little bit pressured and that won't help right now. Well we will see and then there are the ones who can't wait to see me fall and falter.....well they will have another thing coming. :) Like Arnold said...I'll be back!"


Pumpkin said...

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time right now Tina :o( Don't be afraid to find someone to talk to. I hope things will pick up for you soon and you can find that peace and happiness that you deserve.

Inger said...

I agree, I think you need to find someone to talk to. I haven't read all your posts and don't know the details of what's going on in your life. I just feel the anger coming through in your writing. Which may be a very good thing. To have your blog as an outlet, I mean. And blogger friends to share with. Please be sure to hug a donkey as often as you can. Sending hugs.

Tina said...

Thanks Pumpkin and Inger, anger yeah it's coming and I can feel it. Oh boy do I feel it, and I am not usually one that gets angry like that. It too shall pass and I will be back to my normal that in itself is a scary thought.

John Gray said...

always believe in love my friend x