Thursday, March 10, 2011

Say what you mean and mean what you say!

I am an easy going person, things don't rattle my brains too much, to a degree that I put up with a lot of things, others have told me for years they wouldn't put up with, but unless something is really bothering me, I usually keep my mouth shut, partially to keep peace, partially because it really isn't that important. If it was I could speak up against or for it, would stop doing it or whatever the appropriate action would be, yes I vent, but that is usually just to get it out of my system and then I am fine, sometimes I vent on here, sometimes I vent to friends, venting is good and it makes me feel better afterwards, usually people give you their opinion and take on things and it gives me a different angle or perspective to seeing things. Opinions are appreciated, advice on the other hand, well keep it to yourself, after all you are the only one who can figure things out that are best for you. I am also a thinker, meaning sometimes, well not sometimes mostly all the time, I don't come up with the right things to say at the very given moment, it's a little bit of a curse, but then it saves you from making a complete fool out of yourself at times too, by just blurring things out without paying attention to what you say, like verbal vomit. I usually have to think about it and then come up with things I would like to say and have given some thoughts to what I want to say. So asking me for an opinion on e.g. how to make things better at a meeting, well initially I don't know, but given the chance to think about it, I can come up with lots of ideas, but  by then we are moving on to the next item, and I still haven't learnt to just say that I would like to add something after the fact, so sometimes I feel like I am always three steps behind everybody and that is annoying.
When you have things to say, you should always mean what you say, or just shut up. Sometimes when we get caught in a lie, it is so obvious to other that you are lying by the way one gets defensive over things said. The more you have to explain yourself, the deeper you dig your own hole. One should never have to justify one's own actions or words to others, if they were in your best interest. We all do things the way we see fit to have to do them, to make our life enjoyable and livable. We all do things directed by our circumstances, and it is so hard not to blame others, but yet again we are only in control of ourselves, what others do has nothing to do with us, e.g would I like to have support from my family in loosing weight, hell yes and it sure would be so much easier if I did, but I don't have it, not one ounce of it, so it is my job to do what I need to do to make it, I can blame all I want on the family for having it in the house, but it's not like they shove it down my throat, so there lies my responsibility. And trust me it is hard as hell, it's hard with support but it's even harder to do it all alone.  
If you are not happy with the way things are, usually you really don't have to look far, just look inside yourself. If I choose to believe that the behavior of others determines my happiness, I become a helpless tumbleweed, blown about by circumstances, with no apparent ability to direct my own life, and yes I have been guilty of that, but life has been so much greater since I became the captain of my own ship. What others think, say or do, does not affect me anymore the way it did years ago, and that is a big lesson learnt and a big step taken and really half the battle. 
I also love it when people think they need to fix you, hmmm I didn't know I need fixing, at least not the way you thought I should be...who are you trying to create, somebody that fits your needs, makes you feel better at the cost of myself...I don't think so. As much as I have the capability of loathing myself at times, 9 out of ten times I like myself. Would I like some things to be easier for me to do? Of course I would, but that is just my personality and well just how I am. There are certain things you can learn to make things a little bit more easier, but you never really get away from your core, and why would you, then you are not you. I don't pretend to be able to do things, that I know I struggle with, I do attempt them, get disappointed because it was so hard again, take some time to dust myself off and try again at a later point. Giving up is not an option. 
Blaming others, relying on others, using others doesn't say much about yourself now, does it? 


Sharon said...

Hi Tina!

I understand the title, after that you lost me. I don't know if I have too much going on in my own head or what, but could you simplify?

I take it you are having a crummy day, week, whatever. Sorry about that. I hope you get it sorted out.


Tina said...

No Sharon, actually having a great day, well besides the crappy weather, just sick of people around me speaking out of both sides of their mouths so to speak, with one minute saying that, then denying they did, then taking it all back, then rehashing it, blaming everybody else for their misfortune and not being accountable for their actions, just passing the buck....attitude is so catchy, just some people's attitude is not worth catching. And negativity is such a waste of time and such a hard thing to be around....Thank God tomorrow is Friday !

Trina said...

Sorry to hear about what you have been dealing with - it does make life difficult! Try to hang in there and see you soon!

Sharon said...

Hi again, Tina!

Thank you for making it easier to understand. People will never change, if they are fickle or whatever, expect that and nothing else and you won't be disappointed.

This is the crappiest weather we have been having! I want some sunshine!!!!!!!!!!!

Tina said...

Oh Sahron, I don't get disappointed, I wasn't expecting anything or at least not much from that person, I am just upset that i let their miserable attitude affect me to a I can be back to normal, whatever that may be lol