Saturday, March 06, 2010
Now you know it....now fix it!
Hmmmm just because you know the problem and recognize the issue doesn't always mean it is easy to fix. Knowing that acknowledging an issue makes for an opportunity to change and challenge it, doesn't mean I know how. If I knew how I could have done it a long long time ago. A recent situation with a very dear friend brought the whole issue back to the forefront and it is time to deal with it in a mature and proper way, hence the involvement of Janice again. And hopefully there will be some results sooner than later, because it makes me really really tired of all of it. I know I am in a different place in my life and even in myself than I was a few years ago, the result of a lot of hard work, but this little issue keeps coming up ever so often and turns into this full blown ordeal that I can't handle and in all honesty don't want to handle anymore. Meeting with J. this time around, is so much different than the last time, even she noticed that I am far more open this time, not too careful about what I say and not censoring my thoughts at all. I guess it's a good thing. Oddly enough I found out too who will be there for me and who isn't, and it's surprising that the ones I thought would be there, are not and just leave me to my own devices and that's fine, it just makes it very hard to feel a deeper connection with them at this very time, and as part of this journey this time around it will be that things with them will never be the same and that's fine too. More strangely is that the person who triggered the whole event is the same one who has been there and continues to be there with a listening ear, and maybe that was this person's purpose to find their way into my life. Who knows? I do know that things always happen for a reason the way they happen and have a way of working itself out in the end, afterall the plans for us are long layed out and we are just players in the game of life.