Monday, September 08, 2008

Ever wonder?

Do you ever wonder if with age you just get more sensitive to certain things, or are you getting wiser and things get to you more than they used to, or are people just getting more insensitive around you or what is the deal? Well having had a summer of totally new insights and acknowledgements, and new found or even first time ever respect for the personally traits one possesses since childhood, a lot of things have come to light and some changes were in order to accommodate these insights to live to one's authenticity. I finally understand my dilemma of mostly being torn apart inside about situations and being on both sides of the coin, some people might classify this as being two faced, but those are the ones who don't understand and who judge and have no understanding of other's personalities and no compassion and really if you look around there are non compassionate people all around you in every part of your life and in the world, and having many of them and getting more as it seems the world is just becoming rougher and rougher and more self absorbing and self destroying by every passing day. And while talking about two faced....if you do something nice for someone by being the "hero" or the better person or just a "kind"person, think of the things you do and why you do them, if in the end it is for your benefit, well that is two faced in my books.
Some of my friends still have not accepted my way of being and I get constant advise of what I should do or what would be best for me. Some think I am depressed and I need to be out more, some say I need to talk about my problems, hmmm maybe you need to hear about my problems, I don't have the need to talk, but that's just my nature and if that's not yours then it is hard for you to understand where I come from. I have always been private about me, my life and what goes on and like one of my good friends always says... I am sure if you feel I need to know then you will tell me and that's how it is and friends understand that about each other. We all are different, we all have different personalities, we all are differently wired and we all thrive on different things. What gets you going might not get me going and the other way around. Friends take you the way you are, without trying to mold you into something they want or need.
Well for all who think I am not in my life right now where I need to be, well I am sorry to inform you that I am exactly where I need to be, I am actually more content than I have been for a long time and life is good. The only thing I need right now is time to absorb all my changes and acknowledgements myself and deal with them and learn from them.

No comments: