Sunday, March 16, 2008

Questions in my head...???

I am usually known for my quiet side and I am sure all of my friends are aware that I don't really reveal too much about myself, my personal life, my worries, my issues and my problems. I vent to my friends, but otherwise I keep pretty quiet about what really goes on in my head. Lately a few of my friends hit a few rough spots in their lives and are struggling to gain control again and get back on track. As always I am a quiet listener, pay attention to what is said, offer my opinion or advise if asked, and just be my usual self. People always try to convince me it is better to talk about ones issues and problems and air them out, supposedly that is to help you gain more clarity and understanding of your problems, it's better to get it out than to hold it in. But as of lately I wonder are the people who talk about their problems time after time really happier? Does it really help them to get it out? I am not so sure, sometimes it strikes me as that is all they are consumed with, there is no room for anything else. Granted I can't understand what they are going through unless I have walked in their shoes, but isn't that a little selfish on your part to talk always just about yourself? My thought in my head is, what could be so earth shattering in my life that I want to burden everybody else around me with the same things? Granted again, their issues seem to be on a larger scale than mine are, but nevertheless, we all have problems, big or small, important or insignificant, everybody deals with their stuff. Does that make mine less important than yours? Maybe? Maybe not? And who is to decide what problems are big and which ones aren't? What is major to you, or me, might be just minor to somebody else.
I know one shouldn't expect things in return, and friendships are without strings attached, but then why does it feel so one sided at times? I mean, it really starting to bug me when some say..."oh you're so don't have any problems".....damn right I am lucky I don't have your problems, doesn't mean I don't have my own. Where is the balance here, where is the equality of friendship, just because I don't talk about my stuff, doesn't mean I don't have any. There still is a difference in my head between talking about one's problems, and whining and going on and on about them. Well I don't know, maybe I am just not as good as a friend anymore....
just my thoughts to sort out in my head.

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