Monday, July 09, 2007

So here is a definateTrigger

Right at this moment, I just want to stuff my face so bad with anything I can find, thank god I am at work and $1.25 for a chocolate bar seems a little steep to me, I am just afraid of what will happen when I get home. Just got news that plans for tomorrow fell through once again, and I just have this empty pain and feeling in my stomach I just want to fill up. And what better way to make it go away and fill it than with my beloved food....
Had this long conversation about food and diets and trying to eat better and healthier to get better and healthier with a friend today. We had this conversation a hundred times already and yet we are still not any further than we were years ago. Well to be exact I am further away from my goal weight than ever before, and I can't believe I have gained so much over the last year. Not that I haven't noticed it, but I still haven't found the right way to deal with it and to conquer this addiction to my drug of choice: food. Makes me wonder if I ever gonna say enough is enough and what the **** does it take for me to stop using it in that way? I am totally lost and I am totally at my end of wisdom about it. It just drives me nuts, but obviously not enough to stop it. I wish I could figure it out...Oh well here is to another try and a little piece of hope for success.... now just gotta stop those self-defeating thoughts too. HELP!

No comments: