Feeling a little paranoid

It's been a week since I went to the doctor and I made my choice, it's kind of weird because I am so aware of any little pain I all of a sudden have, I mean I had these pains before but I had somewhat peace of mind with the security of the medication, now it's like a free fall. I am sure as I go along longer without medication, I will be less aware of the little 'normal' pains, but hopefully aware of the next disaster striking. Just keeping my fingers crossed, as for now I can't help thinking about every little pain bringing me closer to another relapse. Only time will tell...