Tuesday, January 10, 2006
One of my struggles with myself....
Saturday night I was meeting up with a friend and her mother to go to a music function at the Sanderson Centre. Like always the mixed emotions about anything that has to do with stuff like this emerged (but that will be another entry one day). As I was picking out my clothes for the event, somewhat dressy but comfortable, I actually felt really good getting dressed, didn't try 50 different outfits on, just picked what I felt like wearing and what I was in the mood for, hmmmmm I think to myself, this is great, and for the first time in a long time, I just really picked what I felt like wearing, I felt good inside and outside, well at least until I looked in the mirror. Not that what I picked out looked bad, or didn't match or was not appropriate, it was all that, and I bet it would have looked great on any other body but mine. I felt it looked horrible for me, so off it came and there I went trying on outfit after outfit after outfit and nothing felt right, I ended up wearing my new jeans and a t-shirt, but even that didn't feel right at that moment. I wonder what happened to the good feeling inside about being dressed like that, then actually seeing it and totally hating it. What the f*** is that all about? Can't the "BAD ME" ever keep it's mouth shut?
Funny that I classified myself always in the 3 me's, funny because I used to have a friend who would call me Tina 1, Tina 2 and Tina 3,(that's like a total different entry) depending on how I was.... to be continued.