PEOPLE WHO ARE VIOLENT TO ANIMALS RARELY STOP THERE!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Entertainment for women

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry oom, he shouted to Me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it
say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...

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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy
came to them and said that because they
had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
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A PRAYER....
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN

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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
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Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

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Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
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