Thursday, October 27, 2005
Day 24: What's love got to do with it?
You hear it all the time "You have to love yourself before you can accept love from someone else and love someone else."
That's true and false, true because I would have a hard time believing I was lovable if I don't see it in myself, false because it was someone else's love for me that gave me the first glimpse that maybe I was worth loving.
Am I worth loving? I had to find that out for myself before I could accept that the love from anybody else was real.
Being loving to myself, appreciate who I am too.
My simple list of loving acts. Acts of self love are based on what works for me, not what I think I should or must do.
*say no and mean it
*let go of my resentment
*take a bubble bath
*walk in nature
*ask for help
*hit a pillow
*scream in the gym at work when no one is around
*listen to my favourite music
*visit the DSC
*visit the zoo
*celebrate for no reason
*smile all day long
*go for coffee with a friend
*call a friend
*light scented candles
*create my personal photoalbum
*pay my bills
*go to the movies
*watch my favourite TV show
*clean my closet
*vent to a friend
One of the best loving act I can do for myself is called venting, I vent when I have feelings that are bothering me, things that I don't want to feel or know how to handle.
"Venting is the process that gives me permission to honor my feelings yet encourages me to act on my commitments. Never vent to the person I am frustrated with or angry at, because that's not the purpose of venting.I do it with someone who will give me the space to have my feelings, but not judge me for having them. I ask a friend to listen and listen only, no coaching or advise please. When I talk things through with a listener who will not get caught up in the story, I can gain a new perspective, see things differently and get the frustration out emotionally gives me clarity to see my stuff and the stuff of the other person. I have to discuss what is my stuff, only that I can change.
What would I do differently right now if I loved myself?
I would take better care of me, physically and emotionally.
How would loving myself change my ability to take risks?
It wouldn't matter what others think or see. It would definitely be being more true to myself.