Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I'm here somewhere!

Somehow it feels like I haven't blogged for a while now, which is not really true, might have not posted quite as faithfully, but nevertheless I posted, it's not that I am lacking topic or don't really know what to post about, it's just been an inwards kind of week. I had plenty to say, and I am sure that my inbox and a friend's inbox would attest to that, it's been kind of therapeutic and nice, stimulating to say the least but also calming and relaxing.
I haven't stitched a single stitch since last Wednesdays Stitching disaster, haven't even looked at it and actually put it all away. Didn't really feel much of doing anything but sit and reflect and well try to figure things out, it's been nice to sit by the window on the weekend and just watch the snowflakes dancing to the ground, just something about watching snow falling, just like sitting by water and just watch and listen for the waves to roll into shore. The only thing about snow it doesn't make a sound when it hits the ground, it's just complete stillness and beauty. Work got in the way of peace and quiet mindful thinking, especially on Friday when we had a full class and well let's just say some very difficult parents. Wow, when you look at parents, the mistakes one makes when  children are young, we all probably did because they just don't come with instructions and we all do our best to the best of our abilities and know how, but as you get older and your kids mature and grow, you see how parents' behaviours shape the child's being. You don't think like that, when you are in that particular moment and won't realize what you are doing. And not everything works the same with every kid either, as even kids within your own family are as different as night and day.
Two appointments last week didn't go as well as I hoped, well it's wasn't bad really, but one would think to be further along than one actually is and the inner struggle to get past a certain point seems to be getting bigger the  closer you get, the numbers reflected things I didn't really care about, and I was happy to hear the other numbers where much better, actually good, which kind of made me feel good, but yet at the same time it's stopping me from going further. Arrrrgggghhh! It's really hard to move forward when mind and heart and body are not aligned properly.
The notion for looking for a new job is out, and made know to a few important individuals and maybe just maybe one day in the future it will mount to something, I know it won't be for a while, but maybe one day....hey I can dream too.
Well in the meantime there are other things that need tackling in a big way and well even though it seems like such an endless never winning battle, any small success should be celebrated and acknowledged. So maybe today I shall be grateful that everything has been the same. :)
Schools are cancelled today, well busses and taxis are cancelled due to the expected weather, not sure what that does to my day as I was scheduled to go  to the office at the DSC, I really should go there, seems like I haven't been there in so long, as I missed last week Tuesday too. Well I will wait around for a little bit and see what happens, so far the weather is not doing anything that is is suppose to be maybe they will be wrong- once again! :)


Canyon Girl said...

Sometimes it is so good for the soul to just sit and watch. I love to watch the snow fall. You must have so much in Canada. Thanks for sharing all those thoughts. I like your new blog design too.--Inger

Tina said...

Thanks Inger. Well this winter we only had one big snowfall so far, today rain, freezing rain and wet heavy not so pretty, but nevertheless nice to watch.

Sharon said...

I was thinking, I had missed your post - so I went looking, and there it was "I'm here somewhere" Kind of tickled me!

Watching snow fall or fish in a tank, or a river flow - all good things to relax and get you grounding! Some day you just have to sit and blank out too!


Tina said...

That is so true Sharon, and sitting by water or watching rain or snow fall is just the way to do it.