I know I am responsible for my own feelings and how I react to things, and I get that, but given my history tell me how can I not feel that way about me, and don't act all high and mighty as if it doesn't bother one, I think we all should take a little bit more responsibility in how we treat others and how our behaviour towards others can effect them. Oh I can see some people rolling their eyes at me lol, but it's like telling somebody how gets bullied....oh you shouldn't take it personally. We all have a responsibility towards ourselves and others.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Hmmmm, actually contemplating having some fierce conversations with a few people in my life, not sure when or how, but it is unavoidable if I want to start standing in my own truths. I think I will start with the more saver ones first, safer because there is distance between us and really the outcome won't affect me that much either way, but it will make me feel better to put a voice behind my thoughts and let them know how their behaviour has affected me. It's not about taking things personally, it's not about blaming anybody, it's not about payback, it's not about even the score or even keeping score, it's about me and my standards and what I will allow into my life, what I believe will further my growth and weeding out whatever hinders my growth. I think I pretty much lived all my life to treat others the way I would like to be treated, having said that, seems to be not everybody's philosophy and no it's not about expecting anything from others, it's about being part in each others life and supporting each other, as what makes any relationship a good relationship in my books. Wonder how much the people who are suppose to be closest to you really know about you. I bet half of them don't even know me. I have learnt a lot over the last few months, even learnt more over the last couple of weeks. I have learnt who is there, I have learnt who is just there for the ride, I have learnt that for me to grow into the person I want to be, I need to have people around me that support and encourage me, and it's been an amazing eye opener to me of who those people are, and it has been even more surprising of who these people are not. Some I am not surprised, because they have been that way towards me as long as I can remember, and again I wonder how much do they know me or even want to know me, which makes it even more sadder when those are family members, as others come and go, family is always here to stay. Funny how many conditions or strings others attach to you and how many ifs are attached to every statement about yourself. Oh I could come up with a whole list of things that are good about me, if only.....lol. Well those things are still good about me even without the if, just some people haven't figured that out yet.