Being the daughter of a former High school teacher and principle, my school days weren't filled with a lot of joy, but a fair share of anxieties and fears of failures and the repercussions of those failures. Even though my dad never really put any pressure on us to be a "super student", there was this underlying and unspoken pressure of doing good in school somehow, people just expected it from you or maybe they didn't and it was just in my own little messed up mind. My dad taught at a different school than the one I attended, but all schools were and still are mostly congregated in the same area within a block of each other, and being a small town, it really was no big riddle to put last names together and associate them with the right family, didn't help either, that we had a not very popular last name lol. So every teacher I ever had, knew my dad from somewhere and since he was so smart and wise and great, well people thought I should have inherited that too, well I didn't. I hated school, I was no good in school and really just plainly a miserable time for me. I was a medico student that really excelled in any subjects, I just didn't apply myself and I just didn't want to either. I can say that I never had to repeat a grade, (it's not like it is now and here, where they let you pass one way or another), if you had certain end marks, there was just no way for you to get to the next grade and I passed my finally exams to graduate High school, was not pretty, but I passed and really nobody will ever asked how you passed, unless you wanted to become a doctor or something like it. I just really didn't like school. Even when I did my apprenticeship in hotel management, there was school involved once a week, and I dreaded it every single time. Now as I am older I so wish I would have had a different school experience all together. I think if our school system would have been to a degree more like the schools here, I would have maybe fared a lot better and probably succeeded a little bit more. Back then I didn't even know what I really wanted to learn and now I feel I wasted so much time and there is so much I want to learn and know about and sometimes I feel like a little kid, especially when I am on the farm, and I am asking a kid, well he is 25, kid to me lol, about all these animal things and how things work and how you do them and why you do them etc. I feel like such a dummy at times.
I did a few computer classes a few years ago at the local college here and wow I got my a few "A" s on my assignments. Woo hoo! That was a first and very exciting, even at my age, and I was so proud of myself. :)
Well not sure if I could go back to school, since my memory is really not the greatest even at the best of times, and I still don't like the whole idea of schooling in general. I am so much more of a hands on person, learning by watching and doing.
Oh well, it's all water under the bridge, things that are not to be recaptured, so no real sense about pining about it, but sometimes I just wonder...what if...?