I believe everybody has their own way of perceiving things and make things suitable for oneself. I might not understand why they see it the way they do, or I might understand and not agree with it, or I might understand and totally accept the things they do the way they do them and still not like them, mainly because I feel left out and not taken into consideration. Whatever the case might be, people need to do what's best for them, it might hurt others, it might seem selfish to oneself, it might feel totally unreasonable, it might make you feel left out, but it is the way the other person is comfortable dealing with the things they have to deal with. Trying to get them to change their perception to suit someone else's agenda is just not right. And yet some things are just not right the way they are and it reminds me of a blog of a friend from a few weeks ago, that every action has a consequence and we have to live with and by them.
What makes things even more confusing for me is the fact that my point of view makes sense to me and at the same time I totally understand their point of view, I know both of us having different points of views makes the other one loose out, but it is for the comfort of oneself and ones ability to deal with a situation. For sure there is a certain degree of frustration and disappointment and a little bit of anger, but not to the degree that I loose sight of their point and my understanding and compassion for their side. I guess c'est la vie and in the end the things happen the way they were meant to happen anyway and there is always the possibility of a change of heart.
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit