To this day...

Well today my corky mood took me to a pretty gloomy one, at first I didn't really know why and how, I pretty much had a not too bad day. Went to the market early in the morning to get some fresh fruits and vegetables, had the best breakfast in town with a friend, and spent most of the day outside, sitting back out on the deck I kept thinking about all the times I would sit there with my dad when he was visiting. He loved sitting out there and enjoy the peace and quiet, he got a kick out of the frisky playful squirrels in the yard and enjoyed the different birds of Canada. I was just sitting, getting a little bit sentimental and sad thinking about the things we talked about, the things we did and the things I wanted so much to do with him still, like for example taking him to the donkey farm, unfortunately I never got the chance, I discovered it too late for him to enjoy. As I was sitting here, it suddenly hit me, to this day a year ago I came back from my trip to Germany, it was the last day I saw my dad alive, the day I urged him to finally go to the doctor, the day the rest of his life began. Never thought I would miss him like that, alwlays thought I was doing good until this day. Still hard to get used to the fact that I will never see him again.