Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Still on the topic...

Envy I can handle, if I encounter jealousy I shut down. As of lately I came to the awareness that if I encounter the slightest hint of jealous of others I totally shut down and stop sharing my stuff. I know it has nothing to do with me but nevertheless it's a feeling and a situation I try to avoid at any cost. And the people who know me know that I am not one who boasts about anything. And if I am willing and trusting enough to share some things that happened in my life that were good or things I am actually proud of, and I encounter jealousy because of that, it takes away in my eyes my right to shine for a moment, and I really hate that and I down play and try to explain a lot of things just to get out of this uncomfortable moment. I just need to let it go, and if someone is jealous that is their problem and if someone is trying to achieve that I feel bad for them, than that's their problem too and I will start from now on not to take it to heart anymore and worry about how they feel, because really it has nothing to do with me and I don't need to justify why I got what I got and how.

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