PEOPLE WHO ARE VIOLENT TO ANIMALS RARELY STOP THERE!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

If it's not one thing, it's your mother


I must admit when it comes to my mother I still deal with her as if I was a little girl and I have lots of issues with her when it comes to my upbringing and my place in the family. I have started working hard on seeing my mother as a person and not as my mom only, but I think unless I get all my emotional stuff out of my system it will be hard to do. Just a few weeks ago I had an incident with her, and immediately it brought me back to the way things where when I was a teenager. Her way of dealing with me hasn't changed and my reaction to her dealings are still the same too, and at that moment I felt like I was back in High School. I think it is really hard to see your parents as people too, who make mistakes and who do the best they know how to do at any given moment. I think I have to let go of my expectations of having "my perfect mother", the way I saw it would be perfect and see her as a human being, with her own fears, anxieties, hopes, dreams etc.I find it extremely hard to have a normal adult conversation with her about adult things.
I think we all kind of have our expectations of how we want our parents to be, and I see it now with my kids, I am not living up to their expectations either, and they have this vision of how a mother should be, and I am not even close to it and I realize how unrealistic their expectations really are, because I am just human, I am not Wonderwoman. So I hope being so aware of my own humanity, will bring me to the point of seeing my mother with more compassion and love and reality. But I am also the first one to admit, I am not there yet.